Thursday, May 23, 2013

At the Speed of Light

It's happening. At the speed of light. And I just realized it.
Both my boys are growing up at warp speed. Today was Jackson's last day of pre-k. Okay, okay, it was only little league prek (as in twice a week playtime for 2 year olds while Mom gets a much needed break). But still, he was 2 years old when he started, and today when he walked in their end-of-the-year parade, he was suddenly 3! (Yes, I realize he turned 3 last month, but I think it just hit me.) His little class dressed up as doctors in keeping with the parade's theme: When I Grow Up I Want to Be...

If they had really allowed Jackson to dress like what he wanted to be when he grows up, he would have added a cowboy hat to the outfit and carried Tigger. He calls himself the Cowboy Doctor (and of course Tigger is his favorite patient. He apparently has amazing reflexes!) The parade was cute, but all Bird had to say was "It was hot. I wanted my sunglasses!" When we got inside, he wanted a picture with his friend John. Their friendship was forged by fire since it seemed to be John's name that kept coming up during the first part of the year. Ms. Carmen would sometimes meet me at dismissal after school and tell me, "Jackson had a rough day today. He bit (or hit, or pushed) a friend today." At first I was stunned and disheartened, but gradually I became grateful that the offenses weren't more serious (like... "Jackson drove his imaginary 4-wheeler over his friend or shot his friend with his pretend shotgun or hit his friend over the head with his play shovel"). Anyway, on such days, I would respond, "Oh no! Which friend did he hit (or bite or push)?" (Thinking to myself, we must be using this term FRIEND pretty loosely at this point). John's name came up again and again as the victim of Bird's random acts of prek violence. But after writing several "I'm so sorry my kid bit (or hit or pushed) your kid" notes to John's parents, they assured me that the boys were fast friends! And indeed, they seem to be. Maybe adults should just work out their conflicts like prek kids. Just sayin.
With his friend John

With his teacher Ms. Carmen

And since he's now such a big boy, he's not so big on stroller riding. Tonight at the park, he asked (and asked and asked and asked) to be granted an exit from the stroller so he could walk Rascal. I finally agreed (mostly because I couldn't handle the incessant asking!), and he did pretty well! Rascal was a bit skittish and unsure, but can you blame him? A three year old holding a leash that's connected to a chain around my neck would worry me a bit, too.

For the remainder of the walk, Daddy pushed the double stroller containing a lone, single passenger, whom, as you can see, had absolutely no problem whatsoever kicking back and letting someone else do the walking. And this brings me to Levi, who is growing up so incredibly fast! When Jackson was a baby, I spent more time worrying about getting everything right while maintaining my sanity! And all the growing and changing was neat and new. Now with Levi, the growing and changing makes my face happy but my heart sad because I know what comes next. I'm not ready for my baby to be a big boy! For now, I'm just rejoicing that he's a Momma's boy and still likes to take his bottles in my lap, sit with me to play in the floor, and snuggle with me at bedtime. I know my time for even those things is limited, though. Slow down, Levi! Slow down!
Levi Bug loves swinging!

It goes without saying that I understood so little about parenting prior to becoming a parent, myself. But even after becoming a new parent, I didn't grasp the fact that the ultimate goal is to let go. I'm just beginning to see that, and it makes me simultaneously excited and sad. But, I tend to over-think things and plan things that really can't be planned (and I know this about myself). So I'm desperately trying to forget tomorrow and enjoy each today (except that tomorrow is Friday, which means a weekend with Daddy home, which means HELP with the boys! Whew! Maybe I can get a nap and go to the grocery store alone. I wonder if Jacin will keep the kids long enough for me to exercise or get my toes done?).  See?! I told you. Think today. Think today. Today, I love my boys! (But I'm sure I will tomorrow, too.)
My 31st Birthday with my boys!