Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Now I Totally Get It

As a kid, I can vividly remember my Mom or Dad saying to me, "Hailey, let's just be quiet and enjoy the radio for a few minutes." I remember thinking What? Enjoy the radio? Why? We've got important things to talk about here! It just seemed silly to sit together in the car silently and listen to some faceless voice talk or sing through the car speakers.

Now, I totally get it. In fact, I even found myself saying the EXACT. SAME. WORDS. to Bird today. We were driving to Rome to run errands and then meet some friends for a playdate. He was excited and was even more talkative than usual. About 10 minutes down the road, I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was being bombarded with pellets of constant chatter. I marveled that his breathing could keep up with such a breakneck talking pace. He kept firing questions at machine-gun speed, and he would even resume talking before I could finish answering a question!  I worried my ears might spontaneously combust and melt off my head.

While stopped at a redlight, I turned around and tried to get his attention. Bird was talking so hard it took 3 repetitions of his name (each gradually louder than the last) before he quieted enough to realize I was talking. "Jackson - be quiet and listen to me, please. My ears are hurting, and I really think we need to just all be quiet for a few minutes and listen to some music."

After quietly listening to me for (what must have been an excruciatingly long) 3 seconds, Bird started right back at it. "Why are your eaws huwting, Momma? Do you have a bat flying around in there? Them bats are mean." I turned up the radio and loudly announced, "Bird, I can't hear you anymore. Let's just be quiet."

With the music at full blast and Levi sound asleep, the only other thing I could hear from the back seat was an occasional "NEVER.... EVER.... UGLY....." From what I gathered, Bird was raising his voice at designated intervals to emphasize that I should "Never ever again be ugly to him and tell him to stop talking." Duly noted.

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