Thursday, April 26, 2012

What Does Winning Look Like?

Well, a few weeks ago I posted about how well Bird has transitioned to his "big boy bed."
Nix that. Sunday night he decided that he was NOT interested in sleeping in his bed. At All. Between tears and sobs, he was saying, "No more Jackson's bed! I sleep Mommy Daddy's bed!" Literally from 10pm to 2am, he would get out of his bed and Jacin or I would put him back in it, tuck him in, and walk out. Before I could even shut the door, he would be back out of the bed. Then we would repeat the process. I even tried spanking him. He cried, but wasn't phased. Finally, at 2am I decided to sleep with Bird in the recliner in his room. It wasn't very comfortable for either of us. He woke up at 4am ready to go. Then at naptime Monday, he again refused to sleep in his bed - like there were pins & needles in it or something. He took a brief nap in the floor of his room. Monday night the saga repeated itself. So Tuesday afternoon, after 2 napless days and 2 nights of 3 hours of sleep or less, I was about to lose it.

Jacin and I talked, and it's a hard call to make. All Bird wants is more cuddle time with his parents. Is this a bad thing? No (it's a GREAT thing!), and it's probably just a phase. Jacin is ALL FOR allowing Bird to sleep with us. I, on the other hand, feel strongly that Bird should sleep in his own bed. While Jacin may be able to sleep soundly with Bird in the bed, I definitely canNOT. And my bed is the ONLY place in the house that's mine. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE my little Jackson Bird. But after being with him all day, there's little time or space that I get to call my own. I can't even go to the bathroom by myself! Being able to sleep soundly in my own bed with my husband (and NO kids!) is a luxury that I'm willing to fight to protect. So although it breaks my heart for Bird to cry that he wants to sleep with us, the answer is NO.

And Bird is shaping up to be a very strong-willed child. This latest issue with the bed is one of many recent "battles of the wills" that we've engaged in, and I am determined that he will lose and I will win! I'm the parent; he's the child. I'm in charge; he is not. And he will learn this! BUT since Tuesday, I've decided that I may need to chill out, relax, and re-evaluate what "winning" looks like. For example, for the bed issue, I originally thought winning looked like Bird learning to sleep in his own big boy bed. Period. No matter how long that took for him to figure out. Now, though, I've adjusted my thinking, and "winning" looks like the removal of the toddler bed rail and the re-installation of the full-sized crib rail. So we're in the process of winning... and it looks like this:
LOTS of cuddle time during the day...

And a crib with rails at night. 

Yesterday and last night at bedtime and today at naptime, he still cried for quite a while, saying "Mommy! I cuddle you, Mommy!" Heartbreaking! But each time he's eventually settled down and went to sleep. And I'm trying to make an effort to make more cuddle time during the day. It's a Win/Win for both sides, wouldn't you say? :)


  1. You are doing a great job! We ended up keeping ella in her crib until she was over three and Eliza is 2 1/2 and still in one. It did mean we had to buy two cribs but it was money well spent. Good sleep is precious!

  2. Sounds like a WIN! I like my bed, too--my answer has always been NO...broken heart and all! lol