Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Sharing the Throne

Last Christmas Jacin gave me an awesome new digital camera. I practiced with it some over the summer, and now I'm getting the hang of it. Here's one I took of Levi, 11 days old.

And here are some pics of the brothers. :)

Every morning Bird gets up and asks, "What's Levi donin?" (In the beginning he called him "Elvi," but he now can say "Levi" correctly.) When he finds Levi, he kisses him on the head and declares, "Tat's my brother!"  And he loves to hold him, too.

Overall, Jackson is great with Levi. It's just been challenging for Bird to adjust to sharing his throne. Every day it gets a bit better, but it's been a process. Bird is still really pushing the behavior boundaries, and it's pretty exhausting to parent him right now. In short, he's got a bit of an attitude, and Jacin and I are having to remind him often that we are in charge. For example, one of his favorite things to say to us right now is "No, Mamma. Not tell me no! Be quiet!" And yesterday when I spanked him, he brushed off his hand (the site of the spanking) and growled "Ahhh! I brush off that spankin. Not hurt me, Mamma! No spankins!" And he likes to talk on the phone, so if I redirect him or give him instructions while he's on the phone, he tells me, "Hush! Not tawk to me! I'm tawkin right now!"
Talking on the phone with his work boots on.

To be honest, Bird's not the only one adjusting. I have wild mood swings, vacillating between feelings of happiness and gratitude and then feelings of utter despair. One minute I feel totally beyond blessed to have two beautiful happy and healthy boys. The next minute I feel guilty for bursting Bird's perfect little bubble by bringing Levi into the picture, wondering if my relationship with him will ever be the same. It's been very hard for me to deal with Bird's constant "pushing" because I feel like all I do is correct him all day. He hasn't wanted to cuddle with me at all, and he's actually told me several times lately, "I not want you, Mamma." But Jacin has been off work and home with us all week, so that's been a HUGE help. Bird even wanted me to put him to bed tonight, which hasn't happened since Levi arrived. Like I said, it's a process, and I know that this too shall pass. After all, it's not just 2-year-olds who have trouble sharing the throne. As I used to say myself, "I don't much care to share."

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